Former England leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the condition.
"There's a certain looking the future in the face and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the moment," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We understand that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, states conversely he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his current health, his family and making preparations for when the condition deteriorates.
"Possibly that's trauma or maybe I handle situations differently, and when I have the facts, it's more manageable," he continued.
First Signs
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some reduced power in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the issue, a number of scans showed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I think everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't experience unwell
"The signs I have are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the hand and the shoulder.
"I continue to be competent to performing anything and everything. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a one-third of people within a twelve months and above half within 24 months of identification, as swallowing and respiration become harder.
Treatment can only retard deterioration.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Consequences
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody said.
"We were seated on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started licking the drops off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody explained the emphasis was remaining in the moment.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be extremely militantly directed on just embracing and savoring all aspects now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been really lucky that the primary decision I made when I left playing was to spend as much period with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Sportsman Association
Top-level sportspeople are excessively affected by MND, with studies suggesting the rate of the disease is up to sixfold greater than in the general population.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 available and producing injury to motor neurone cells, frequent, strenuous physical activity can initiate the condition in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Sports Career
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his brave, persistent style to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a practice altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a practice gear and started throwing himself into physical contacts.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the line-out in the crucial phase of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing field goal.
Assistance System
Moody has previously told Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a handful of other former team-mates about his medical situation, but the rest will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the present, just having that sort of affection and acceptance that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"Rugby is such a great family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even should it finished now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to consider your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the most important privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a period with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will want to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
